SMACKING MESSAGE: Rev Nove Vailaau.

NOVE Vailaau has been on both ends of the stick when it comes to smacking – but his latest publication rejects religion and Pacific culture as an excuse for smacking children.

“I have been on the receiving end of the stick and I started off as a Dad who thought smacking was okay,”  says the author of A Theology of Children.

The theologian and reverend of the Congregational Christian Church of Samoa in Porirua, says while carrying out research his parenting style changed for the better.

Rather than giving commands and punishment, he says discussion and compromise have “enriched” his relationship with his wife and children.

Launched by Plunket and Barnados, the booklet is a parenting tool that provides a theological and Pacific view on positive parenting.

Nove says there is a perception that smacking is part of Pacific culture, but he says research shows Pakeha are more likely to support the legal sanctioning of smacking than Pacific or Maori people.

He says Europeans have a greater history of violence and wants Pacific people to look to the past for a Pacific way of parenting.

By analysing old Samoan proverbs and language forms, Nove argues there is no evidence proving smacking is the Pacific way. He says indigenous Samoan parenting values promote the protection of children.

PACIFIC LEADERS: The audience at the launch of Rev Vailaau's new booklet.

Consulting the Pacific community through talkback radio, Nove found no strong opposition to his work, and says Pacific people are more conscious of smacking being wrong.

Some are quick to point out the most quoted biblical defence for smacking, “spare the rod spoil the child”.

Nove says this is taken out of context because the phrase is about sex not child rearing.

Although he thinks people can find their own truth in the Bible, and that smacking was introduced to the Pacific by Christianity, he does not accept religion as a reason for physical discipline.

“There is a lot of killing in the Bible, there is a lot of incest. The question is do we accept it just because it is in the Bible.

“David killed Goliath, so we have to kill every big strong person? No, that is not the message. We need to look at the wider context.”

More than 90% of Pacific people in New Zealand identify with a Christian religion.

Plunket’s National Pacific Services manager Mokalagi Tamapeau says the booklet was an overdue response to the Pacific community expressing a need for a relevant parenting resource.

Barnardos New Zealand and the Royal New Zealand Plunket Society say they are proud to jointly publish the booklet to advocate that all children are treated with dignity and respect.

Nove says the positive parenting principles are for everyone not just Christian and Pacific people.

He says no matter what community you belong to, “the best way to deal with violence is to exercise non-violence”.