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Wednesday, 20 March 2019 11:01 pm

Why I love My Chem

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Gerard Way’s voice has gone, so his band, My Chemical Romance, has cancelled four concerts in Australia. KYLIE KLEIN-NIXON tells why this is important:

OK, SO let’s get this out of the way first:  I’m 37 years old and I love teen-rock idols My Chemical Romance.

I don’t just mean I like to listen to My Chemical Romance a bit and think they’re neat.  I mean I love them.  L-O-V-E.  Pure, unconditional, unadulterated love.

Laugh all you want, roll your eyes, wince, grimace, whatever.  I don’t care.

You know why?  Because My Chemical Romance are the greatest band in the world.  Fact.

It’s ok, I’m a professional.  I’m not just going to throw that out there without proof, and I’m not just referring to the fact this band has turned a rational, grown woman into a quivering pile of Fangirl goop.

I have cold, hard, irrefutable scientific proof in the form of points out of 100 that My Chem rule.  Check it out:

1. New Jersey

1a. My Chem come from Belleville, New Jersey, on the eastern seaboard of the USA.

You know who else comes from there?  Frankie Valli, Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi and Glenn Danzig.  That’s the kind of musical lineage my boys come down from. 10 points

2083803710_58dec1cafb1b. Now, as everyone knows, New Jersey is a dump run by the Mob.  In the Jerz, if you are not careful you are likely to wind up at the bottom of some river wearing concrete shoes.  (I’ve watched the Sopranos, I know stuff.)  So basically, anyone who not only survives growing up there without getting on the wrong side of Il Don, but actually makes it out of there alive and gets on the front cover of AP magazine while they’re at it, deserves a prize.  In this case it’s 10 points.

2. Teenage Girls

A lot of people say that bands with predominantly teenage girl followings are dross.  To these people I say: “Pshaw!  You clearly do not know your musical history.”

If the number of teenage girls lying in their bedrooms of an evening scrawling the lead singer of your band’s last name after their own directly corresponds to your band’s drossness, then Paul McCartney would never have gotten a knighthood and Keith Richards would never have gotten that bit part in Pirates of the Caribbean. (see also: Duran Duran and the current 80s revival)

No, the number of teenage girls who would happily tear your lead singer limb from limb and/or collapse in a fit of hysterical crying if your bassist smiled at them is actually an accurate barometer for future iconic status.

A quick head count of the 1.5 trillion teenage girls posting on My Chem’s web site on a daily basis only means one thing: 20 points.

3. The Daily Mail

2100596957_6774a7bf4dUK “newspaper” the Daily Mail prints exploitative, ill-informed baloney about My Chemical Romance’s part in the suicide of a teenage girl. Lead singer Gerard Way incites 35,000 people to yell “F*** the Daily Mail!”  A video of it is posted on YouTube.  50 Points

4. Concept Album

4a. You try doing a concept album about cancer (The Black Parade, 2006) that far from being a maudlin pile of woe on toast is in fact a musical celebration of everything that is awe inspiring about life and love and dying.  And get Liza Minelli to sing on it.  Go on.  10 points

4b.Not many bands can wear a concept album without looking like a bunch of self satisfied dorks.  My Chem not only wore theirs, touring it for almost one and a half years, they bejewelled the bejaysus out of that thing.  135 shows in 42 countries. 10 points

5. Injuries2082999021_7519603994

My Chem drummer Bob Bryar once played so hard he snapped the tendon on his arm and it pinged back into his elbow.  He kept playing.  30 points

6. Frank Iero

My Chem rhythm guitarist Frank Iero is in three bands, runs his own record label, fashion label and publishing house, has nine dogs – some of which are elderly rescue dogs – was investigated by the secret service after naming one of his songs I Am Going To Kill The President Of The United States, spends hours meeting and greeting fans, was named PETA’s Sexiest Vegetarian of 2008 and giggles like a teenaged girl. 20 points

I could talk here about how lead guitarist Ray Toro’s hair actually defies the laws of physics (45 points) or bassist Mikey Way has written Batman for DC comics, while his singer brother, Gerard Way, won an Eisner Award for the comic he wrote (1000 points), but I think I’ve made my point.

165 out of 100 means only one thing: My Chemical Romance are the greatest band in the world.

PICTURES: My Chemical Romance live in Newcastle, UK courtesy of Mo Jojo via Flickr and Creative Commons.

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is is a former Whitireia Journalism student.
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4 comments
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  1. I reckon they are emo posers with whiney look-at-me music, nothing compared to rock greats like Hendrix, Zeppelin, RHCP, Pearl Jam and the like. I guess it’s a matter of opinion?

  2. Wow, I fully support the reaons about why this band rock. I my self am a fan and have been inspired by them to do so much, such as be a journalist and improve my life, hence why I am now at Whitireia studying.
    Great story.
    – Juju
    ps, retweeted it on twitter.

  3. This was a painful article to read. In fact, I couldn’t even manage to read all of it. I understand that it’s all a matter of opinion but really? My chemical romance? Get some taste PLEASE. No one is going to remember these guys in 5 years. No one.

  4. I think, that for a band as big as they are, they’re very understated as musicians. Mostly because people tend to judge books by their covers, bands by their fans, fans by their sex and age. This band gets slandered all the time, their fans has always been belittled by people who have “far superior taste” – and yet majority of their fanbase stay dedicated.

    It’s not cool to like them, it’s cool to hate them because everyone thinks it’s cool to like them – confusing cycle, but true. Pigheaded, pretentious people that think their own music taste is the best are likely never to see how these guys really are as musicians, never to give them a shot, because they’ve already judged them on face value.

    The thing is, I’m a lover of music. I give everything a chance, and I like this band. I think I’ll remember these guys for 10-20 years, I think, with with the large vision this band has and their fanbase intact, the world will.

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